Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Extravaganza Ultra Mega Post. FROM HELL.

Kidding about the hell part, but this post does have a lot of pictures in it, so get ready to appreciate me, and all I do for you. No joke, you will be balls deep in entertainment after this post. I hope.

Another trip to Solvang with Surferz A and D was made,
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and Surfer A started to feel his age,
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and Surfer D threw a small (huge) tantrum, and we found a new place for him to live next year.
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I got my racquetball on with some broz.
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I was paired up against this guy,
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who, despite his scrawniness, is really good at tennis, which, along with my poor athletic ability, translated into a devastating loss.
Some frat, doesn't really matter which, had a party, and instead of cleaning up, decided it would be a much better idea to have the seagulls clean up their trash.
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That counts as recycling right?
In other fratty news, somebody got a drum set in their room.
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Who would sacrifice most of their room to put in the loudest, most obnoxious instrument imaginable?
Why, none other than Fratboi Tim, the second frattiest man in all the land.
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Frat Rat still holds the number one spot.
The Living Legend and a hairy Greek (not the frat kind) guy also came to enjoy all the noise.
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And then it was the weekend.
Friday night I ended up again with broz, who again did bro stuff (as if they do anything else).
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They then did even broier stuff.
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Some cross blogging occurred,
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and some can stacking.
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A special guest was even there.
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You might remember him from his adventures on New Year's Eve, but if not, his name is Bowner, and he's here to party.
Later that night, K and I ended up at some strange dirty hipster party,
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which did not make me happy. At all. So we left.

The next day, this guy got into a heated discussion with the cafeteria staff regarding what could or could not go in the thermos he brought with him.
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K learned that ironic animal shirts might not be for him,
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because they make him look a little "creepy art teacher"-y.
Surfer D learned that shirts in general might not be for him.
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That night was relatively uneventful, but once again I ended up with Bowner, who was there to party.
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Party on Bowner,
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party on.

Finally, after what seemed like a thousand pictures of shit that regularly happens, it was Extravaganza.
Our soccer (not football, you must remember we frown upon sports that aren't artsy) stadium was filled with people ready to see some music.
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So many people, in fact, that it took me two pictures to fit everyone.
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The day started off relatively quiet, with some dirty hippy band called Sprout playing first,
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so naturally only barefooted hippies were there to watch.
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Oh wait, that's my housemate for next year! Hey Lily! Now put some shoes on, you hippy.
Bored by the hippy music, I went to explore.
There was some weird blow up sumo wrestling going on,
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and a large bouncy castle which I did not make it into.
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And that was about it for activities, so I resumed sitting down on the grass.
This kid showed up,
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sufficiently hammered and ready to not remember anything.
The hippy band finished, only to be replaced by a band that encourages even more hippies, the Expendables.
More people showed up to see these guys, probably because they're better.
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Those aren't clouds in the air. A quick note: That marks both the beginning and end of the lame stoner jokes that will be made on this blog, or at least I hope so for both your sake and mine.
There was a big screen to show how happy all the stoners and hippies were with the Expendables,
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but some of them had to get on each other's shoulders to show how pleased they were,
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and this hippy desired to express herself through dance.
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Or some hippy shit like that.
Trying to amuse myself while the Expendables played, I tried to take a picture over my shoulder, but ended up taking an unintentionally artsy close up Hawaiian shirt picture.
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The Expendables finished up, and then Talib Kweli came on, and scared all the hippies away. Even more people showed up.
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The absence created by the hippies was quickly filled by, you guessed it, BROS.
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Fratboi Tim, in the howz.
This guy
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calls himself the blackout menace, and would like to think of himself as Fratboi Blackout Menace, but I prefer to think of him as an enormous douchebag, so I'll continue doing that.
People were hyped on Talib, and put their hands (and crutches) in the air.
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Now, I know what you're thinking right now. "A, the weather looks so perfect for a fur vest, jorts, and a sailor's hat." Well, this guy feels the exact same way you do.
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Talib Kweli finished up doing his thing, and it was finally time for the moment we had all been waiting for. Rusko.
We moved into the crowd, ready to get our whompwhompwhomp on.
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He came on, and it was dubstep time.
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Rusko then proceeded to melt everyone's faces, except for this guy,
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who was too busy being creepy and on Ecstasy to notice any of the music.
After being rocked senseless, it was time for Cee-lo Green, the headlining act, to come on. So naturally, everybody left, because who the fuck wants to see Cee-lo Green?

On the way back, Surfer A got to sit in a tractor, which probably excited him more than all of Extravaganza.
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I returned to the dorms to find somebody who wasn't the Living Legend passed out on the Living Legend's floor.
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Sleep well, sweet prince.
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Thanks for giving me something new to blog, Extravaganza.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Getting down on Friday

Everybody decided to go out big on Friday, and went out big they did.
Once again the room was packed with people,
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and an excited Surfer A
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and confused Surfer D
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 and captain fancy mustache (and Frat Rat)
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all showed up, ready to party.
Now I could keep you here all day with drinking pictures, so let's just say
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that everyone's parents would be mega hyped.
After that X-Treme drinking montage, naturally, shirts began to come off. This turtle-y gentleman decided it was time to make this one of those parties.
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Looking at this picture, I now notice that TurtleMax has a giant robot boner. How about that.
As evidenced by K's previous post, Frat Rat is never (ever(EVER)) one to be outdone, so naturally once he witnessed MaximumTurtle losing his shirt,
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he immediately tore his off
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and I then took what might be the 2nd greatest picture of Frat Rat ever taken. (I also took the first best)
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After noticing me blogging him, Frat Rat yelled across the room "You're probably going to write some asshole comment about me on your little blog!"That's where you're wrong, Frat Rat. I wrote like six asshole comments about you.
At this point, the party relocated to another room, where some cross blogging occurred,
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as well as some bunk bed action.
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Now at this point I'm sure you're wondering where Surferz A and D disappeared off to. Surfer D was still sticking around, psyched as ever.
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Surfer A on the other hand, well... he enjoyed himself a little bit too much.
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K and I left him with his lady friend, and dipped out to IV.

Less than five minutes after getting to the dirty streets of Isla Vista, K and I received a panicked phone call from Surfer A's ladyfriend, Surfer E. On a side note, I need to stop hanging out with so many god damn surfers. Surfer E desired for us to come back to the dorms, because, apparently, Surfer A had overdosed on Vitamin C and they were both close to death. K and I returned to the dorms to find  extremely drunk Surferz E and A.
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These kids didn't even know what to do with themselves.
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Somehow, Surfer E ended up on the ground,
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and Surfer A did his best Titanic impression, apparently trying to lure her back.
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K has a delightful video of this part of our night, and if we ever figure out how those damn Youtubes you kids are using these days work, we'll put it on the blog.
Eventually, the two tired themselves out,
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and K and I departed.
A quick note to Surfer A's dad, who I really hope doesn't read the blog anymore: My bad.

As K stated, on Saturday morning we happened across a free Jamba Juice and painting festival right next to our dorms.
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Some pretty serious art-doing went down.
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Surfer A and I both did some paintings which I feel are very important to our generation.
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I call his painting, "Green Dog That Likes Wildflower" and mine, "Smily Face That is Also Boobs"